March 9th, 2005



Dear God:

If you are able to read this, can you please tell me why you cursed the world with this thing 'love'? is it so that you can have people make a fool of me, or is it that you just want me to feel this and torture me beyond belief? A line from a movie i like says "love doesn't make the world go round, but it makes the ride worth while" well apparently my world should just crumble and die at my feet, because love will probably never find me. If you wanted to torture me, i admit defeat. if this is a way to show everyone in the world that their life has an upside, please show me where mine is, because i sure as hell was never seeing a 'bright side' to anything in my life.


I dont wanna be here anymore, i just can't take anything else bad going on in my life and all that ever happens is nothing but bad things. my family, the one place that is supposed to be there when i need them, are worthless to run to because they are self involved. my friends, ya theres a joke, of the people that actually dont get bored of me and toss me away i thank you for putting up with me, i dont even think i'd be here now. and love, LOVE?!, ya i'll probably see that the day that i die, and probably be tortured before anything actually happens anyway.

im gonna go curl up in a ball and wait to die
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