Standing at the edge of my ordinary life
Now I'm looking far ahead I only see clear blue skies
I hope this feeling lasts me until the end of time
Geez this weekend was a HORROR show for my emotions, and my body. Since my post thursday nite i went from being a lil crushed, to devistated, to suicidal, to content..and very oddly too
So Friday i was just in no mood to do shit... very lethargic. I went to my 10 am class and we did a debate between Booker T Washington and WEB DuBois..i was a mediator and had to do diddly..and got my midterm back...i got a C which isnt as good as i thought but its decent enough for me to be happy. Played sims for like an hour and then went to my History of China class...it returned to being sucky ( i almost dislocated my jaw from yawning so much)...came back and napped just cause i was in no mood to chat with people...got up at 6 and my friend asked me to cover a chat i mod so i did...but really didnt pay much attention..guy imed me and apologized for making me feel crappy (he read LJ) and i said it wasnt his fault, i thought i could deal with it and i dont really think i was all there in making that choice...end Fri nite.
Saturday, woke up late (like 2)and proceeded to lounge around...chatted a bit, with guy and Brie...Guy left at about 630ish for his date..and Brie went to shower...there was absolutely no one around and i really depressed myself with reading romance type slash *kicks self* to the point where i just felt like either slitting my wrists or punching a wall...just something to get the pain from my heart. all of my friends were worried because i had scary messages up (though i dont think they were scary *shrug*)...guy came back, told me that he was going out to a movie with date and left to see Sin City... i chatted a bit more and played sims...wound up staying awake til 530 (stupid daylight savings...I WANT MY GOD DAMN HOUR BACK!!!)...and ya..the Pope died today...*shrug* i dont know if it should really affect me or not so i feel indifferent about it.
Today i woke up at like 1230, with a very very lousy night sleep...i woke up liek every hour on the half hour and went back to sleep...i played sims again today, though the stupid game crashed on me alot..i basically took my anger out on the sims..breaking them up and then making them have waaay too many kids, one poor family has 11 kids *giggle*...but it made me feel better for some strange reason...bout 730 i went out for dinner...to the gas station across the street (where there is a subway) and i took a very long leisurely walk there..by the time i got back i had been gone an hour...and i enjoyed my hour walk...i cleared my head of stuff that botherred me...yes i know that im still hung on guy, but i have to realize that the distance will be a huge problem and i probably wont ever get him...but ive come to terms with it finally...i cant say that i am over him cuz i definitely will not be (at least in the near future [Brie can tell you])
As i write this, i am listening to happier music...some encouraging words...happy support knowing my friends will be here if i ever need them...i am definitely a stronger and bigger man.