April 18th, 2005


(no subject)

So i feel better...i sufferred from a nervous breakdown all about school today...i basically got told my research paper that ive worked on for a while was complete garbage..then i found out i failed a test in psych last week and ya soo didnt go well..i called my mom (first time i spoke to her in 2 weeks) and basically told her that i wanted to withdraw from the semester...the first time i got her on the phone all she did was scream and yell at me...which made me feel even worse that i was already...then she called back and told me that she understood it and that it was ok to feel overwhelmed...she told me that since i wasnt gonna get the money back for it, to just finish out the semester and see what happens from there. She told dad to cancel the hotel room because there was a very good chance i wasnt gonna graduate...he's gonna be disappointed but i just cant deal with the stuff just piling up on me...I emailed my aunt and explained everything to her in it and asked her to make my resume because i will be looking for a job when i go home in may and its gonna be needed...i also will be taking a long break from school before i even think about taking classes...i mean i am gonna have to pay my own way now. then i took a long nap, cuz i just felt drained of life and everything..and got up like 3 hours later...im still tired as hell, but i feel a bit better

I leave wednesday for Pheonix for the wedding. and ya..that will be an interesting trip for me...single, 22 and going to a wedding when i just wanna be at home with someone and cuddle and let my worries go far away from me... everyone tells me that it will happen cuz im special and stuff...i just dont see anything special about me and i will probably wind up alone..cuz this is just my luck...i wanna go hide from the world
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