TomMike (kingmike1224) wrote,

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How do i even begin

I have no idea where to even begin with...can today just like vanish from history and like never ever come back

It started off normal..well normal for me

I woke up at like 12/1 and hopped on the computer like always..Brie was playing sims and was i started talking to justin...when my sister called. Apparently she got back together with the guy that lives up here and was coming up. So she wanted to know if i wanted to hang out or not...Today was the tulip i said why not...i barely get out and it was a chance to hang with her....well she came and picked me up..told me normal stuff...we are meeting up with Paul and a couple of his friends yadda yadda we get closer she goes you may hear stuff today so i might as well explain it now. She goes on to tell me at first that while she was broken up with him (the whole like week and a half) he went and slept with another girl and that if she was there we were gonna leave. Fine i agree thats wrong and if she was there i had no problem on leaving.

She goes on to tell me that she was pregnant for 7 weeks and hadnt told anyone but mom, joyce and Paul...Paul had been telling everyoen and stuff...and yes while it was nice to know and that...she tells me that she miscarried after about 7 weeks, and that paul had told people so she didnt want me going what are they talking about etc..THEN she goes on to tell me that she didnt knwo if Paul was the father cuz she had been sleeping with her ex (I soooo didnt need to knwo that and quite frankly makes her look like a hypocrite) I was sooo lost, it was like someone ripped my heart out of my chest. If anyone on this list knows me, they know i love kids, and this woulda been one to spoil rotten for me. Even now im still confused in the thought of it and it will probably take some time to process this thought

We get to the festival and of course Paul's one night stand is there and she gets upset and stuff but we dont leave...instead we walk around the fair with Paul and shes being all oo ahh stuff to him...i just dont understand people at wound up being the 3 of us hanging out all day..did some errand shopping and stuff. Then they dropped me off back at school while they went out.

I get back here and am greeted by a friend rather abruptly...they thought i was avoiding them because of i explained the situation and they told me stuff that im gonna keep quiet about cuz quite frankly you dont need to know it...i apologized that i didnt read it cuZ i wasnt here and the friend calmed down.

Big thing..Revelations today...i sat here for like 45 min trying to find lyrics to enter the entry but i dont really know how i feel right now...flatterred by the friend thing, but im more devestated by the whole sister thing and when i tried to call my sister joyce just for someone to talk to, she didnt when i got back to my room i called mom...and she doesnt know that sis lost the baby yet, so shes gonna be a wreck

I think im gonna go cry my eyes out for a while and hopefully things will get better tomorrow..though i quite frankly dont see how

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